Endearing & Loving Parenting

This is my first hub involving a precious subject I hold dear to my heart - my daughter, Ma. Andrea Ysobelle V. Estrellado.

It all started on the 19th of September 2001 when a beautiful baby girl came into this world. What can I tell you? I'm a first time father and I don't know any parenting stuff in the first place. Hey, nobody's perfect. All I really know is that something inside me just wouldn't believe that I have the most perfect child in the world. What can I say? I'm a dad.

But why do I have this feeling that our time with this beautiful baby of mine is running on fast forward? It seems that the sands of time are flowing ever so quickly and I can't do anything about it.

I could not really express how it felt the first time I saw her, the first time I held her in my arms. And to be perfectly honest, I get teary eyed just writing about this. I love her and that's what important, and I will continue loving her until, I guess,....forever...

My daughter is a very popular girl both in the family compound housing of the hospital where my wife works and of course, her school. She has this very nice classmate named Phillip who is very vocal that he liked her.

One day when they are being escorted back to their respective homes by the school driver, Phillip decided to say, "I Love You, Ysobelle." And to the amazement of everybody present my daughter replied, "I Hate You."

Being parents, the reply had been seen as inapproriate and against the code of good conduct. Besides, I believe my child did not mean it, or at least I refused to believe it. Hate is such a strong word for a young mind to use and understand. Love is a better alternative.

So, we decided to tell my daughter that the next time he says something like that, she should reply, "I Love you, too, brother Phillip or I Love you as a friend."

Naturally, it came again - that situation. My daughter replied, "I Love you,too," forgetting the next lines that should have been there. Phillip was ecstatic! Ah, to be young, alive, and, what can I say, possibly in Love...

Note: Picture provided is not of Phillip, but her good friend Simon. My apologies...

Every child expresses his or her feelings one way or another. And in their innocent spirits rises the talent that even the greatest scholar could not even begin to understand or even try to explain.

To a loving parent, his or her child is the best singer, the best actress, the best of all the best - even if your child is not really above average, the love and warmth is more than enough to make up for it.

Let them sing, these little ones, for they are crisp and white from inside. Let them speak and ask their questions, because most of the time they make more sense than us, the so called mature ones. Let them act and play pretend because it's good for their creative soul. Let their laughter ring throughout the house for the sound of it will rejuvenate the old and the weary. Do not suppress their youthful ideas, for later on they will depend on them for strength and wisdom - remembering, of course, that his or her parents were the best when it comes to support and affection.

So try to give them time, an occassional positive comment and more of the good old fashioned hug and kisses.

I came home one day tired from work and decided to edit one of the hubpages I have. My daughter, Ysobelle, was with me at that time in the bedroom of our little flat. While I was clicking away on my laptop, I tried to be the good father and asked my girl about the small project she was doing in school (it was a shoe box made to look like an aquarium showing cut-out pictures of sea creatures). It so happened that in that same week, my wife and I purchased miniature mermaids (they were four which she named Ariel (The Little Mermaid from Disney), Tide, Persil, and Dac - Self explanatory. Don't get me started. Believe me, it would take ages!). I casually asked her if she placed the mermaids inside the box. And she said no. End of story.

We specifically told her that she was not to bring the mermaids to school as playthings or part of the project. It turned out that she did, without the knowledge of her Mom and the nanny.

Later that same evening, after I asked her the question, Mom discovered part of the figurines inside the school bag. We were a bit upset because she didn't tell anyone, plus the fact that she lied to me, her Dad. It's difficult for me to just accept it because she never keeps any secrets from us, or so I thought.

So I dwelled on it for about a day and a half and kept thinking. Do I have to give her punishment for lying? It really tore me apart. Part of me says, yes, and the other half is undecided. Spanking is out of the question ( It just leaves me sore and aching inside because it hurts me more than her.) Yes, I did the spanking bit before, but I think it just makes matters worse. I realize now that my daughter is smart and can understand more things that I wouldn't even begin to imagine. And all I have to do is have a conversation with her.

The next day at dinner, I spoke to her, and she said she was sorry. But then, lying is not a very light matter especially to a six-year-old and her parents. I said pick your own punishment. She thought about it and came up with an answer. She'll wash the dishes. But still it will not impress on her the gravity of her actions. Sure this is the minor leagues, but lying is still lying. Better nip it at the bud. So I had to hit it hard where she'd remember it all too well. She loved TV and I had to ban it for a week.

She was close to tears but she abided by the rules. I explained to her the consequences of her actions and she accepted. You might say, Golly she's just a kid! Yes, she might be a child, but she's my child, my baby. And I Love Her. It's our responsibility to bring up our children the proper way - instill good manners, love God, love others in return and other stuff that our parents gave us when we were growing up. Teaching your child not to lie is a good thing, even if it hurts a little. It does really. That's why we call it "The Growing Pains".